It’s hard to overlook the pain and devastation of a cheating spouse. Yet in Illinois family court, that’s exactly what the judge will likely do. As overwhelmingly relevant as the betrayal is for the victim spouse, infidelity does not really come into play when ruling on the future of the marital assets and the custody of the children.
Though it may seem unfair, the spouse that’s stepping out has the same rights in the divorce as the one who’s been hurt. The decisions on spousal support, child support, custody, and property division will all be made based on more objective criteria, and not on who broke up the marriage.
There are some instances, though, where it could be very relevant to look at the cheating spouse’s behavior. Not the fact that he or she had or is having other relationships, but what has happened as a result.
First, if the cheating has put the children in danger, this would obviously be relevant in ruling on custody and visitation. Here you would want to have specifics about, for example, your spouse’s serious neglect of the children to have relations with someone else. Or perhaps the person your spouse is cheating with is abusive or harmful to the children.
Second, if your spouse is using marital funds for expensive gifts for the other person, those funds might have to be accounted for and paid back in dividing up assets. A spouse cannot use your joint funds to support his or her new love interest, without being responsible to you for the money. This is called dissipation of assets. Detailed records would be needed to prove that this is what happened. You can help to prove dissipation if you have bank records, receipts, etc.
In both these cases, it’s not necessarily the fact that your spouse has been unfaithful to you that makes the relationships relevant in your divorce. It’s more about what has been happening with your children and money, regardless of whether there has been actual infidelity. A good family law attorney can help to take the pain and emotion out of the process, and protect your rights in court.
