When people call us we try to take the emotion out of a situation and focus on the facts. That really allows us to give the best advice and hopefully help people. We never tell callers what they want to hear, but we always tell the truth.
When it comes to emotional issues, there is probably nothing more divisive that differing opinions on abortion. You will never convince someone who is “Pro-life” that abortions should be allowed and you will never convince someone that is “pro-choice” that they should be banned.
What we as attorneys think the law should or shouldn’t be is irrelevant. We deal with what is. It’s up to the legislators to keep or change the law. In the last six months we’ve had around ten calls from expectant fathers who learned that their now ex-girlfriends were going to terminate a pregnancy. Half of them said that they would gladly take care of the child once born and would agree to the mom giving up any legal responsibilities.
All that said, under the current law you can’t make someone stay pregnant who doesn’t want to be. As a father you have no legal rights to make someone stay pregnant even if you are offering the world if they do so.
On the other hand, if the mother is doing something that might potentially harm a child in the womb (drinking, smoking, drug use, etc.) you can call the police and seek out a civil court order that prevents her from doing so. You can also petition the court to be at the hospital when the baby is born. You might not be allowed in the room, but you might get to be with the child soon after the birth.
These aren’t easy situations for anyone and most issues related to custody happen after a child is born. And as I was typing this a question came in from a caller coincidentally on this topic. He wanted to know if his ex could make him pay for the abortion and while it’s arguable that if she went to court he’d have to pay for half, I’d never suggest you do it voluntarily if you don’t want that to happen and I don’t believe that they could get a court order for that before a baby is actually born which would make the point moot.
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Tags: abortion, child custody